How do we talk to our kids about the child separations at our southern border?
When Kaleb voiced his concerns about being separated from his own mother, Marvi and Ben approached friends and child social workers for advice on how to talk to their sons about the child separations happening in the US southern border. They also spoke to migrant advocates who offered suggestions on how they and other families can help children and families caught up in the immigration debate.
Our friend Abby, told us about the Stamp Out Despair initiative where young children like ours can send note cards as well as giftcards or phone cards to migrant families in detention. Sometimes I wonder if these things really help or they just assuage our own feelings of helplessness. We hope they help. There are people out there doing the heavy lifting. If you would like to donate to these organizations, here’s a great article about the organizations helping migrant families.
What's happening with the migrant children at the border?
An influx of migrant children crossing the United States’ southern border were separated from their families due to the current administration’s zero tolerance policy. While public anger and mass protests prompted the recent executive order that halted the mass separations, the trauma to these families could linger. The practice of separating immigrant children from their parents has happened in the past, and will probably continue after this crisis fades from the headlines. For this reason, we wanted to talk to our children about this issue and find actionable steps each one of us can take to help. We’ve detailed the tips we learned below and hope this helps you and your family.
How can my family help?
Sally Pillay of First Friends of NY and NJ gave us some tips for how families can help.
Donate money to organizations focused on legal aid, as well as the health and well-being of separated families
Offer your translation assistance or legal services
Visit immigrants in detention centers. Organizations such as First Friends of NY&NJ and Detention Watch Network organize visits.
Donate used smart phones, calling cards and gift cards – Visa/Mastercard, Target, Safeway, Shoprite, etc.
Volunteer to help with transportation, overnight hospitality, and more
Contact your Federal or State representative. Our family uses this app that makes it easier to find and send messages to our representatives.
What can young children do to help those in need?
Parents, you know your children best, and while a number of these suggestions may work for some young ones, they may not for others. Please use your discretion.
Organize fundraising efforts with your friends and neighbors and donate the proceeds to organizations that are helping affected families.
Write letters to the children by participating in programs in your area such as Stamp Out Despair. We’re told by many advocacy workers and volunteers that the children really appreciate these notes.
Support immigrant families recently released from detention by donating clothes and toys to children.
March and protest as a family, and let your voices be heard.
Be a consistent, trustworthy friend. There may be immigrant children in your school or neighborhood who have been separated from their parents, seen relatives taken away, or fear of separation. They need friends who they can trust and talk to. Parents, it is important to prepare your children for the possibility of being rejected for reasons that have nothing to do with your child. Licensed social worker Elizabeth Dunlea explains why in the segment below.
In addition, some immigrant families are transient for many reasons and it behooves parents to prepare their children for a possible, heartbreaking goodbye.
*If you are in the NY/NJ area and are interested in supporting children who have been separated from their families please download this information sheet from First Friends.
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